We’re leaving Brazil tomorrow 2/26/2022, landing in Tampa Sunday morning 2/27/2022, AND CLOSING ON MONDAY 2/28/2022!!!
I want to freeze this moment and scream at the top of my lungs…. “What the fuckeeee!” as Gabby adorably says.
In the letter Dalvinha writes to Othon for his 4th birthday saying she would start writing stories about their life.
She says that she and his father got married on July 9, the same day her mother was born…
Did you hear that mom?! She got married on July 9th!!! The same day as her mom’s birthday! That’s me! She’s me! In so many ways…
The upsetting part is that Vitor has been trying so hard to not follow in his father’s footsteps and didn’t want the years, numbers, or anything to feel familiar to the divorce he went through in his childhood.
That date of our wedding and engagement being on July 9th was such a clear obvious choice and force that it’s so apparent that the universe/angels/ God have it’s own plans and it feels too parallel.
The past 5 hours here at lax..
I just had a Simba moment, staring blankly down at my screen in sleepy frustration… I looked passed the info on the screen and saw furrowed eyebrows and a familiar face looking back at me from the reflection of my phone/ pond. I chuckled when I saw mommy’s face in my phone looking back at me and realized that I’m Simba seeing Mufasa. (Wish you could see what I see)
Friday, January 21, 2022 10pm
Oh boy I’m exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster I rode today. I felt the tension building in an overwhelming way as Vitor got more excited about houses and numbers in a turned on way… I screamed in the car when i got to be alone, complained about being hangry, grumbled, slammed doors, and ate like a monster until I took a deep breath and he timidly asked if I felt better… I was feeling a little better but then we started talking more numbers and money that I had difficulty understanding. He grew frustrated trying to explain that 330K – 40K = 290K and I bursted into tears telling him that I feel like I’m trying to hard to study for these tests I keep failing. Somehow those tears, me stepping away for air, and coming back to him all emotional and exposed had me finally expressing that I missed him as a romantic partner. To which he replied, “where is this coming from? Just because we haven’t had sex from a week?” And I was hurt and flabbergasted and told him that’s not it all all and that I don’t even want sex, not the way he’s thinking. I want time and attention on me and house hunting to turn off for one night. He said it’s hard but he’ll try and has been so sweet and loving with me. When I told him that I get embarrassed and feel silly after sharing all my thoughts and feelings, he asked “How much longer do you think you’ll be doing that? Because I’m here for all of you and want you to share with me.” Ugh my heart ❤️ I know I’m blessed with this incredible man and want to continue celebrating each time I allow myself to have him witness and hold me.
oh mommy...